Whenever I am alone and thinking, I always start with things that I want but I don’t have or things that I am facing a problem with and so on. I will play out all the scenarios justifying to myself that my worries are valid.
Today, I have consciously decided that I should give up on this shameful habit! I have everything that I could ever need and I am not saying it just for the sake of it. There was a time when I was economically dependent on my husband and I did not like it one bit. Those were the days when I would raise a million questions on my abilities and doubt my own worth.
On one such days, I had an opportunity to visit an orphanage for my niece’s birthday. My sister and her husband decided to celebrate it in this orphanage amidst a lot of children! It was very noble of them to think that but I took one look at the faces of the children there and it depressed me right to my bone!
I picked my kid up and kissed her and when i look down, two kids, not more than 5 years old, are looking up at us and the longing in their eyes was simply hear-breaking. I knelt down and planted a kiss on each of their cheeks and they blushed and giggled as they ran away. When I got the time, I sat with the guardian of the orphanage and started asking her a few questions, especially to understand how she manages to look at their innocent faces and let them understand that they would never have a mother or a father or a normal family like the rest of the world does!
She says, “I know I can tell them that this is their family now, but I also know it isn’t enough. When it is a grown up child, the first few days is hellish for both him and us. But their maturity makes things easier for us. It is the smaller kids that break our heart. We receive children as young as 1 year old or sometimes lesser. As they grow up, they have all these questions like, ‘Who are my parents?’ ‘Where do I come from?’ ‘Do I have any relatives or siblings?’ and so on! It is so hard for us to make these kids understand the reality. Even so, half of the nights, these kids sleep with a small hope that someday, someone will come for them!”
I ask, “And does someone come? For anyone in this home?”
She says, “No ma’am! We accept even those children with a single parent who cannot take care of the child. During the registration all we tell these parents is that they don’t have to pay money or donate anything for the house. All they have to do is visit their children once in a while so that the children feel safe. However, even these parents do not show up once the children enter our home. It is a very pathetic situation!”
I take a deep breathe and think, “Dear god! How good I have it compared to these children here.”
Human beings have some basic necessities according to some scientists. These include Food, Clothes and Shelter. These children have all these three basic necessities, but does that mean they are better off? NO! There is one basic necessity above all else, FAMILY! Every person needs someone to call their own, their family. Without this basic necessity, everything else becomes just an accessory to help you exist through the rest of your life.
I have a great family and I love them as much as they love me. That in itself puts me above a million others out there. For this very reason, I maintain a tracker in my BuJo every month called the “Gratitude Page”.
Just a sentence for each day where I jot down one such thing for which I am grateful for. It maybe inspired by the happenings of the day or just something random. This page has made a huge difference in the way I look at things in my life.
Today, I am working for a nice company and I am earning enough to support myself economically. Yesterday’s worries seems like a joke today. But today when I read those gratitude pages, it makes me feel more gratuitous for everything I have today!
Keep it Cheeky, Keep it Geeky.