The Gratitude Page

Whenever I am alone and thinking, I always start with things that I want but I don’t have or things that I am facing a problem with and so on. I will play out all the scenarios justifying to myself that my worries are valid.

Today, I have consciously decided that I should give up on this shameful habit! I have everything that I could ever need and I am not saying it just for the sake of it. There was a time when I was economically dependent on my husband and I did not like it one bit. Those were the days when I would raise a million questions on my abilities and doubt my own worth.

On one such days, I had an opportunity to visit an orphanage for my niece’s birthday. My sister and her husband decided to celebrate it in this orphanage amidst a lot of children! It was very noble of them to think that but I took one look at the faces of the children there and it depressed me right to my bone!

I picked my kid up and kissed her and when i look down, two kids, not more than 5 years old, are looking up at us and the longing in their eyes was simply hear-breaking. I knelt down and planted a kiss on each of their cheeks and they blushed and giggled as they ran away. When I got the time, I sat with the guardian of the orphanage and started asking her a few questions, especially to understand how she manages to look at their innocent faces and let them understand that they would never have a mother or a father or a normal family like the rest of the world does!

She says, “I know I can tell them that this is their family now, but I also know it isn’t enough. When it is a grown up child, the first few days is hellish for both him and us. But their maturity makes things easier for us. It is the smaller kids that break our heart. We receive children as young as 1 year old or sometimes lesser. As they grow up, they have all these questions like, ‘Who are my parents?’ ‘Where do I come from?’ ‘Do I have any relatives or siblings?’ and so on! It is so hard for us to make these kids understand the reality. Even so, half of the nights, these kids sleep with a small hope that someday, someone will come for them!”

I ask, “And does someone come? For anyone in this home?”

She says, “No ma’am! We accept even those children with a single parent who cannot take care of the child. During the registration all we tell these parents is that they don’t have to pay money or donate anything for the house. All they have to do is visit their children once in a while so that the children feel safe. However, even these parents do not show up once the children enter our home. It is a very pathetic situation!”

I take a deep breathe and think, “Dear god! How good I have it compared to these children here.”

Human beings have some basic necessities according to some scientists. These include Food, Clothes and Shelter. These children have all these three basic necessities, but does that mean they are better off? NO! There is one basic necessity above all else, FAMILY! Every person needs someone to call their own, their family. Without this basic necessity, everything else becomes just an accessory to help you exist through the rest of your life.

I have a great family and I love them as much as they love me. That in itself puts me above a million others out there. For this very reason, I maintain a tracker in my BuJo every month called the “Gratitude Page”.

Just a sentence for each day where I jot down one such thing for which I am grateful for. It maybe inspired by the happenings of the day or just something random. This page has made a huge difference in the way I look at things in my life.

Today, I am working for a nice company and I am earning enough to support myself economically. Yesterday’s worries seems like a joke today. But today when I read those gratitude pages, it makes me feel more gratuitous for everything I have today!

Keep it Cheeky, Keep it Geeky.

Happy BuJo-ing!

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Magic of keeping Journals!

I was recently wondering if people actually know that keeping a journal could be magical at times. Revisiting your past memories are made easy with your journals and diaries and that is given. Some times it is much more than just a portal into your past. When you look back and then compare it to your present and you see how much has changed, how much you have grown, how much of your dreams have been realized, its truly magical.

When I was 18 and I walked into my dorm room for the first time, I cried the whole night missing my mother. through the tears I wrote in my diary, “I will never ever abandon my baby when I do have one!”

When I was 25, My husband and I were trying to get pregnant for over 6 months and it was not happening. It was another such day, when my pregnancy test came back negative. That night, through the tears I wrote in my diary, “God, Please bless me with a child, not because that’s what I want but because I know that I will be the best mother there ever was and ever will be!”

Today, I am 27 and my baby girl is already 2. I read those entries today and it fills me with exhilaration and awe! To think that my diary actually granted me my wish! It is the most magical feeling ever.

In the month of April, I came up with a concept as a filler for my bullet journal. I would come up with something that I have never seen or done in my life. So I put this forward in the form of a painting or a doodle or a poem, and i called this page as “Never Have I Ever!” [Duh!]

For April, I put up this painting of snowfall and I mentioned, “I have never seen snow or snowfall ever in my life!” I then shared it on Instagram asking for those who have seen snow or snowfall to comment and say “I Have!” I just put it up there as a game.

After a week of that, My family plans for an impromptu trip to Kashmir! Needless to say, I was so damn excited that I am going to be seeing snow for the first time in my life! Most of the nights preceding the trip was spend with dreams of me holding snow, jumping on snow, dancing on snow, eating snow etc….

AND SO I DID!!!

Now, I am almost sure that it was my journal that granted me my wish! I know that it seems silly and impractical, but so is Magic. Really silly and those who are practical will never experience it!

So…….

Keep it Geeky, Keep it Cheeky!

Happy BuJo-ing!!!!

June cover page- Bullet Journal

June just bought me in this mood for leaves and roses!

So I chose the theme- Climbers and Roses!

Now isn’t that cute! Some collage, some lettering, some poetry and the Calendar!

Watch Here to see how I created this beauty!

Keep it Geeky, keep it Cheeky!

Happy BuJo-ing!